Finished

I am officially finished my very first year of University...I am done exams, now I just get to wait patiently for them on Saturday night after midnight. which I won't I will actually sleep this time and wait and find out come morning what I made. I kind of seems unreal to be done. It's a very nice feeling, but it's kind of scary at the same time because I don't know what to do with myself.

So I now have a job at Reitman's, Yup I'm a reitman's girl. I really do love their clothes and the atmosphere is ten times better. Yes, I'm really glad they offered me a job. It makes me happy. Plus you get so many bonuses when you really think about it, I can get clothes, 50% off. Yes, that means a whole new summer wardrobe for Jocelyn!! Yay!

I've decided tommorow I'm going to the Library...what I'm getting at the library only God knows because I have no clue, I just know I cannot stay in this house one more day. A girls got to get out, she's got to spread her wings, so if it rains tommorow I will not be happy. Well That's it Have a nice day everyone.

STRESS

Ok so I don't really have that much stress, but I figured you'd like to hear about it anyway. I've spent today studying for my final tommorow and I'm still not done. Yeah I know I should of started sooner and it's my own fault, and that I'm taking time from studying to write this but...OH WELL!!

I've also made a descision to try to eat better, stay within my calore range, start running. I have more time now. It should be easier than it was during school...I say should. I don't make any promises, but it's going to be my summer project. Hey I lost 24 pounds before I can do it again.

Advice for anyone who wants to know...Do not tell your mother anything. She will horde it over your head for a century, and when you are trying not to think about things like getting a job, or about romantic relationships she goes and brings them up, when you've finally have put them from your mind so you can STUDY!!! I am not very happy with her. And what's with the fact that I get a job...I real actual job, with shifts and what not and a paycheck...and you know what she wants me to do--get another job. Ok MOM I'll get right on that!!! gggrrrrrr! Atleast give me a little time to study and let my mind relax before bringing stuff up that I don't want to think about!!

Yes so I do have a job now, it's nice to know that people want to hire me. As well I got a call today for another interview, but this would be in retail as well actually to the store directly next to the store I got hired at. Yeah wouldn't that be funny.

All right I'm finished ranting. I've wasted enough of my studying time to put towards this lovely subject. Thanks for "listening".

My Birthday...was yesterday...

Ok I meant to blog yesterday...but I said I'll do it at the end of the day. Well as you can see I didn't.

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was a normal day at the beginning. People called every now and than to wish me a happy birthday (Thank you everyone)!!

Dad came home and brought an Ice Cream cake with him. It was rimmed in pink with a huge pink flower in the middle and It said Happy Birthday Jocelyn! in PURPLE!!! Yes in purple. Exciting huh??

Well anyways I was going about studying (I was actually studying this time). When I got a phone call from Ryan (who is in Newfoundland) wishing me a happy birthday. Wasn't that nice. We talked and I went to bed when we hung up.

That's it...That's how I spent my birthday. Thanks again to everyone who called and sent e-mails or messenged me. I really appreciate your love and affection.

Now I'm going to go eat some Ice Cream cake...It's mine after all isn't it???

Tommorow...Tommorow...I'll love ya...Tommorow

It's only a day away.

Breaking out in song should be a way of life. To live life in a musical. I find since I saw Joseph I tend to sing, dance, and well just have fun randomly. Everything can be made into a song in a musical. Take for instance the splinter in my foot. That would be made into a song about how painful it is and how It hurts to walk.

I think my favorite musical song is Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked. But it's only the second musical I want to see I absolutely want to see Hairspray. Yup when I get the chance those are the two musicals that I want to see. When I will get to see them. I don't know, but... I will see them.

Ok, so tommorow is my Birthday...I'm not excited or anything. Yes I turn 19 but that is all. It's not like I'm going to use the fact that I am legally able to drink now and able to buy cigarettes. These two things do not interest me. You'd think there would be something good about turning 19, but really you're still a teenager on the brink of Young adulthood. Wanting to celebrate a milestone (which it really isn't if you think about how many more years you have) but really having nothing to celebrate. Well I'm a big junky for birthdays. I know I always usually make a big deal out of them. But you know what...It's different this year.

All I really wanted for my birthday, was an ice cream cake to go with supper. That's my only request. I don't care if all my friends forget, or if I don't get any presents, All I want is a birthday cake. I guess this is a sign of maturity! LOL HA...That even made me laugh. Maturity yeah right!

Well as you can tell I do not have any plans for my birthday...but I'll tell you all about it tommorow.

Tommorow...Tommorow...I'll Love ya...Tommorow

Secret

I have a secret to tell, don't worry it's not someone else's secret, it's my own. I have a crush! Yes I know it sounds like a pathetic secret and some of you all ready knew this secret but it's still important because there have been new events and new descisions that have been made.

Now where to start...first off I'm not sure if this is really just a crush. That's how it started anyway, like a crush. Than over time of getting to know this person I started wishing I could spend more time with this person, and thinking about him at odd times. Wondering what he was doing, or wondering how he was doing. Wondeing if he was sad, if he was happy and if he a good day or a not so good day. I started looking forward to hearing from him, or taking to him.
A while ago I decided that I would tell (which I still haven't done) but....

Than these past few months conversations just stopped he was busy, I was busy, and I began thinking maybe it was just a crush, maybe I'm just making things up in my own head. Maybe I need to pray some more! Which is what I do whenever I think about this guy. I pray. Not for him to like me or to want a relationship with me. I pray for his well being. I really honestly care about him, and that's what scares me. I'm scared I let myself get to attached or to involved. I'm let my emotions get the better of me. And I think that's what scares me the most, is I can't control my emotions.

I can't control the huge grin that crosses my face whenever someone brings him up. I can't stop the flutter in my stomach whenever I see an e-mail from him, I can't stop the feeling of my heart squeezing whenever I talk to him. I just can't! But that's the way God made us. Emotions and all.

Well anyway, yesterday, I had decided that it's time to give up this crush. I prayed and felt a bit better I thought I had made the right descision, after all we hadn't talked in over two months. And than yesterday afternoon guess who I talked to. Yup I know, hard to believe the same day I was contemplenting giving up this crush or whatever it is, I talk to him, and he remembered my birthday. I'll call it devine intervention. So I've come to the conclusion. That I'm going to tell him. It will be hard and I might chicken out, but you only get a few chances before they're all gone.

I'll tell you what happens! It won't be for another few weeks so don't hold your breath and be checking everyday to see what happens. Just pray for me! And pray that I'll have the courage to go through with it. If not I could always let him read this blog!

Interview!!

A s some of you may know...I had an interview yesterday. It was well interesting. The interview was up in Fredericton at the department of education building. So at 6 o'clock I was up, and getting showered and than nicely put together (meaning: I had on my new clothes, my hair was done AND I had make up on) We were out the door by 7 am, Hard to believe you get on the road that early. Well we made it to the building on time (we thought for a little bit that we weren't going to make it) And I go in, introduce myself to the receptionist, and went and sat down with two other people waiting to get into the interview. We had a group interview. Yup there were four of us in total being interviewed at the same time. They went through each one of us and asked interview questions. Than they got us to do our presentations. (I went first, didn't want anyone doing theirs and totally scaring me)

Than we did a group project...ever here the one about crashing on the moon and having only 15 supplies and you have to put them in order. yeah, that was interesting. Then we had to do it as a group...yup. I'm not kidding. An interesting interview, and a learning experience to say the least.

But it wasn't all bad, the people I had the interview with were really nice and it would be really cool to work with them again.

It seems I'm seeing job opportunities left and right...I went in to Reitman's last night and dropped off a resume, they're doing interviews for a part-time employee next week. So we'll see what happens there.

As well, I have a interview today with Kennebec Manor, For a summer student position. I don't know if they want first year students or not, but...It was worth a shot, if I get it, I get it! If not, atlease I tried.

Well that's it...only one more day not including today of classes, than I have some morestudying to do for finals...all I really wish for right now--Is a GOOD night's sleep. I feel like I haven't been sleeping these past few days. I'm ready for a night where I don't wake up in the middle of the night to hear a cup crash ( I knocked my glass of water that was on my desk to the floor it shattered) Than Being up late practicing my speech, than not baing able to sleep because so many possiblilities are going through my mind. But even worse is having to get up at 6am the next morning (the earliest I wake up is 6:30) a half hour really does wonders for your system. Than last night I went to sleep maybe a t midnight (not smart to begin with, but *shrugs* it happens) I kept feeling hot than cod, than hot so I went to sleep with just a sheet, than I wake up in the middle of the morning (3am) feeling freezing cold. I put all the blankets on me and my sleep is resumed and I'm in lala land. Next thing I know I hear my father yelling at me to get up, and when I get up, I wake with a massive headache. Yup, I want just one night of sleep that is not interupted!!! And one morning where I'm not awakened rudely!!!

It'd be nice...but it's a dream!

ok chao amigos...Have a good day.

6 days (count down till April 13)

The Butterflies are going crazy...

Well, I'm here to talk about a guy who makes your heart go pitter patter. And well that guy would be Ryan Gosling.
Ryan Gosling who is 25, not to old for a girl turning 19. I mean really he is quite gorgeous those sultry eyes, those gorgeous golden locks. Makes butterflies turn in my stomach. And if you think I'm talking craziness just watch the notebook...I know that it was just his character in a movie but any guy who can say things like that and look good doing it is okay in my book. So therefore Ryan Gosling is a catch...and well a celebrity crush, but I deserve one of those every now and than. So the beautifully handsome Ryan, deserves this place of honor...hey Lindsay will agree with me and say he's very cute as well, as will Kyla and Kelley. We love guys that can look into a camera and feel like he's looking deep into your soul.

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Now don't tell me you can't fall in love with a face like that.

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I mean really look at those eyes, don't you just want to drown in them.

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There goes the butterflies again!

My New Hair

A better view of my new hair
Originally uploaded by godsgirljml.

So this is my new hair. What do you think?? I even have bangs. You can't really see them cause they're underneath all that hair. But they are there trust me. I almost cried in the hair dresser's chair when she first cut them. but than I was fine. You'll have to see it in person.

SEX

Now that I have your attention.

Did you ever notice how in classes or in regular conversations that people assume that all teens are having sex. They assume that once you hit a certain age that atleast once in your life you have been pissed drunk. They assume that you've experimented with drugs and if you say no they're like well atleast pot. I am here to inform you that it's not true. There are some peole out in the world who do not do those things and it really ticks me off when someone will say "oh they're all going to have sex anyway" NOT true. Not everyone is haveing sex or drinking their minds empty, some people have morals and ethics that they want to maintain and uphold. Like not having sex till their married. It does exist and no offense to me I'd think it'd make the marriage better if you waited. There would be no surprises like getting pregnant accidently and than not knowing who the father is. Not a smart thing. Or contracting an STI you know most STI's can be lifelong. Meaning they are not cured. Ok I'm done. I guess I'm just innocent and I never realized how many people ARE having sex. I guess I'm in a minority. But if you think about it...what guy would want his wife to have been with someone else???

I think the above rant came from finding out a friend got pregnant. Yeah, dropped out of school and went back home and now she's pregnant?? That's what happens when you're not careful and when you don't wait.

Ok now I'm really done, I had something else I wanted to mention but I don't remember.

I do know that I'm now getting a car for next year, well maybe depending on, how much I can save from working or how much I get from scholarships. And all depending is how much I can take for a student loan. And if everything works out, that means a vehicle for me! But than I will have to pay for gas too. That means maintaining a job, yup. A job.