Is it me??

Your Expression Number is 9

An idealist and humanitarian, you strive to make the world a better place. You do your best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion. Deep down, you dream of being loved by many. You are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. While you are very ambitious, you never lose site of perspective. You have an abundance of creative talents... you just need to tap into them. Although you are a giving person, you can become selfish if you are ignored. If you are not able to help people, you tend to shelf your talents. Without others, you become aloof and start to lack sensitivity.

What's Your Expression Number?

Night Shift

Hey just wanted to give you guys an update about what i"ve been doing, since I haven't seen you or anyone for that matter in the past four days. I've done my first rotation at the hospital. I've just finished my second night, and well I'm going to sleep soon. I'm hungry though so I'm getting breakfast. Than I'm crawling into mom's bed shutting the door, and SLEEPING!!

night!

Short but Sweet

Ok so I don't have much to say...I'm tired...my feet hurt (because big boss came into the store today) and I'm not sure what else I was going to say.

I start work at the hospital on Pallative Care on Saturday, funny huh? Starting on the weekend.

So there are officially Two movies I want to see...wait three movies:

Star Wars Episode 3 (I missed when you guys went remember)
The Sisterhood of the traveling pants (Girl movie, but that's ok cause I'm a girl)
Mr and Mrs Smith (well it looks cool)

So I'm pating for gas in the blue car cause well I'm like the only one who drives it anymore. I'm real lucky, I get the car that has TWO broken doors and sounds like a cat is stuck in the muffler. But it's a vehicle, I have some freedom from my family because of this vehicle!

ok I really need to go to bed now. My bro wants me to get up at 8 and drive hime to school, I promised I would...that's what a great sister I am!

Independence...

is a beautiful thing. If only I had it! I seriously consider moving out and living on my own, but than I consider how much it would cost to do that. That's when reality kicks in and I'm like, I can't afford that!!! eeep! No independence is a precious thing and those of you who have it and can walk all over your parents like some people do are extremely lucky.

But than again, i don't ever want to treat my parents like a bank who are just around to drive me places and let me live in their house, but yet I would treat it like my house! It just wouldn't be right. But if I had my own place I could stay out as late as I want, go where I wanted, not worry about other people, clean my room when I actually had time, and when there was a mess in my house I know I would have been the one to make it, and I wouldn't fell grumpy about cleaning it because well it's my mess! Plus my parents couldn't tell me I had to come home because I had a BAD attitude. Am I not allowed to have some weird days where I can get my own way??

Ok I'm done with bad mouthing my parents, I do love them very much, and I do appreciate them letting still stay in their house while I'm going to school and whatnot. They could kick me out if they wanted to! but it's my parents I don't think they would ever do that, atleast I hope they wouldn't do that?

So tonight was fun, youth was at Ryan's house (Ryan Hughes). Girls only night, and the guys were at the Breau's place! It was cool, it was total girl talk with FOOD! That's always the way it should when girls get together, there will be lots of talking laughter and food. And sometimes there can even be some crying. But in the end it all works out and things are revealed that no one should EVER know! EVER, EVER!!

ok so this is a little serious guys sorry! But I know you'll still read it cause you love me!!

Chao
Jocelyn

Gilmore Girls

Now the reason I chose this title is because I am watching Gilmore Girls right at this moment. It's an old episode, but I like it!

What to say? What to say? It is either very late a night right now, or very early in the morning. Depending on who you are! I'm going with late at night because I haven't gone to sleep yet! In all honesty I can't sleep, I have so much on my mind! But the thing is I don't know what is on my mind? There is just so many situations and things going on, I can't decide what one thing I'm thinking about or even that one thing that is making me anxious!

These past few nights as I'm climbing in bed I get this really anxious feeling in my gut! I feel as if my stomach is continuely turning over, but what makes it worse is I have no idea what could be causing it. But than again a lot of things could be causing it!

I think if maybe I write it out, I won't feel so tied up inside! And the ulcer that seems to be growing won't kill me before my time!

1. I'm working, working really hard for Reitman's I'm not the best at it, but I really really try hard, but sometimes it's still not good enough! You have to really sell yourself in this job! that means selling the clothes saying the right thing, pushing your product...that's a lot of pressure, I've only worked there a little over a month and it's still hard, I thought it would get much easier by this time?

2. My new job! this I think is what would cause the ulcer! I'm am terrified of this new job. I have no idea what is expected of me, I have no idea if my skills are good enough for what they need. I haven't been able to get a hold of anyone to get my reference letter from yet, as well I haven't been able to get my health and pysical document thingy yet either! Which is due Wednesday. Plus i have to photocopy a bunch of other things as well, including my high school diploma! I don't know if I'll have this all ready for the 8th!

3. Coordinating between old job and new job. Scheduling sucks! I don't know if I'll have the energy to do both jobs, get enough sleep or even enough food to sustain me for both jobs and between both jobs. I can't be working a shift at the hospital while working a shift at Reitman's. I can't be in two places at once!!!

4. The end of summer. I know this seems far away but I'm anxious for it because the end of summer means a lot of things, Friends going away, other friends coming back, starting school again (which means studying again) Organizing events for the Nursing Society! That's just a bucket of I don't know what it's a bucket of but it's just no fun!!

5. Church. Now I know that seems like a weird kind of thing that would cause stress but it really has. What with a new youth pastor and having changes happen. Change can be hard to handle. Plus I forgot how much I missed teaching sunday school, but I can't teach right now because of work! Work actually schedules me for a lot of sunday's!!

There it's all out in the open, and those of you who checked to day and are like...why is the time like 2 in the morning, because that is the time when I first wrote this, than it got erased some how!!! Talk about bad luck, so I wrote it all over again. So this is the second version of my Horrible ulcer creating LIFE!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eee...eee..ee.e..*cough*..*gasp*
sorry I ran out of air :)

yeah, there is way to musch sugar in my system. I left work way to happy today...why I have no clue! I'm just doing what I'm doing relaxing, blogging, playing freecell. Oh and listening to music! So my chest is still burnt, it's no longer a tomato red It's almost a bright pick now, so I would call it cotton candy pink. yup!

So I got my hair done yesterday! It's all pretty and colored and nicely cut now, my mother no longer tells me that I have to do something with my hair cause well I did!

I finished the book now...not the book, but I finished The sisterhood of the traveling pants. Kind of impressed with the book. I now would like to see the movie. It lookes cute...Yes I did say cute, but it's sad too. It's all about growing up, and living with the reallity of being a teenage girl and the survival of a friendship through it all! (Yet that all takes place in one summer)

My fingers feeling better, It no longer hurts to touch any part of the finger, now it's just where the pin when through that hurts. Yay no more pain, I seriously can not take pain for myself, if I have to do anything that involves pain I will not be able to do it...Well I guess that means no children. Sorry mom you won't get any grand children from me!! (except through adoption that I could suffer through!)

So I have no idea if I'm working next week or not, well I know I'm working at Reitman's if that helps. but I have no idea, if I'm working at the hospital, maybe i can arrange it that I don't start there until Monday! maybe she'll be reasonable about that. She does know I have a part-time job! The nurse manager, she wouldn't do something crazy like book me on thursday! would she?? I'm so worried! Hopefully God will take pity on me and have everything work out!

Well tonight I am going out which means I will have to shower!! yup shower I do that sometimes, get myself prettied up! ;) NIGHT ALL!

The wonderful life of ME

So I had more telephone conversations in one hour this morning than I've had all week. So I now have a new job. I'm actually going to be working in the hospital now! I'm going to be on 3B N or S. I forget now, but it's Pallative Care. Yes, I know, tough summer job, but it'll be the experience of a lifetime, especially at this age! I have to call and email some people but it will get worked out in the end. I had to call and cancel with the daycare. I felt extremely bad. Mom gave me the suggestion of giving them someone else's name to offer them. I think i will and see what comes out of it. I have no idea how Reitman's will react bt we'll see what happens when it all hits the fan. I seriously feel like I'm slowly headed towards a fan and I'm going to be shredded to pieces when I hit it! That's how mixed up and scared I feel.

Well, I"m burnt from laying out in the sun yesterday with Linny, but of all places that is burnt it had to be my chest! yeah, bright red! Doesn't get any better than this!

So I'm at Kyla's house, We're having diner, Kyla's actually cooking! Yes, I said Kyla! (Look your name three times in one sentence) Linny's working, so I feel for her wish I could come get you and take you away from that aweful place. But I can't if I was a millionaire, I'd hire you to come work for me, I'm not sure what you would do for me yet, Probably organize my room, what do you think Lin?

So yes, I was talking about where I am right now! At Kyla's. I'm not sure what we'll do tonight but it will be fun, amusing even. I'll tell you tommorow what we did! Have a good night everyone.