First Day

Well tommorow is my first day of school/classes, which technically for me isn't really a class, it is a full day long orientation to the course, plus introductions to the instructors, a test to assess my med math skills, and an evaluation on my skills so far. Sounds terribly exciting doesn't it?? As you can probably well imagine, I'm terrified, yet excited, yet unsure, it's a really great feeling. I'm so scared cause this is 3rd year, this is supposed to be the year that really shows you how to be a nurse. People's lives are going to be placed in my hands, and well that's terrifying. What if I mess up, I'm not perfect. I thought I could handle everything that I have on my plate, what with Nursing Society, Youth Commitee, helping at home, Work, and then school (plus clinical). It's a lot to handle and I'm thinking I'm just realizing all this. I know I would say stuff and joke before, that I will be very busy, but reality is starting to sink in.

I had to review my med math stuff, and some of it came back really easily, but other stuff, well let's just say I'm still confused about it. I thought I knew it, but I guess I didn't as much as I thought. I'm trying to get excited, and trying to think of all the "challenging things I will get to experience" but I'm really scared. I"m scared of becoming an introvert and not having a social life, or even being mean to the ones that need my attention because how do you maintain a relationship (any relationship even with a best friend) unless you make an effort to be interested in each others lives. What if I don't do my part and make that effort, I'd be the one losing out, and I really don't want that to happen. It happened first year, and it killed me a little...I can't let it happen again. :D I love you guys. I'm really scared as I can imagine you all are too. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Love
Jocelyn