A ranch, a play, chicken and a movie

What do these things all have in common?? Well, they all had a part in my day yesterday. I was up at the ranch (Circle Square Ranch) yesterday, helping or being in the way, I don't know yet...lol. It was really nice, getting to go outdoors, play in the grass, and meet new people. I then came home yesterday evening and proceeded to have a nap. I didn't mean to have a nap, I was just going to watch arthur then hop into the shower, but I ended up falling asleep for an hour.

Ever notice sometimes when you have a nap you feel worse then before you had the nap. That was the kind of nap I had. I think something hadn't settled in my stomach I felt nauseous. Oh well, it went away....and I got ready to go....

I went and saw the Play "Tuesday's with Morrie" (yes, it's also a book) with Kelley, it was a beautiful play, the actors were absolutely great, I believed every minute of it! It also made me cry and laugh, you know it's good when you experience to different spectrums of emotions...lol. While there I saw a sign for another play which sounds devine....CHICAGO...Saint John Theatre Company is putting it on. I think it would be very fun to go see...Maybe I can convince Someone to go with me...lol

We then went and grabbed some food (chicken to be exact, plus some fruit to balance it out) and watched a movie...Gracie's Choice. I love this movie, I cry everytime I watch...I think it's because of Kristen Bell, she is a phenomenal actress, very believable as Gracie. I was going to explain the movie but I'm afraid to spoil it....here read the synopsis.

Anyway, I then got to bed fairly late...try 3 am, by the time I got home and settled into bed, I need to stop these late nights...I go back to working days tommorow, I need to be able to sleep tonight. Meh, sleep who needs it...wait I do.

Hopefully today turns out to be just as exciting as yesterday...nah...I boring day would suit me just fine.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I figured since this is what I changed my name to, I should dedicate a post to it for everyone to understand where it comes from.

I've been reading a book recently called "Captivating" and it talks a lot about a woman's soul and such. It's very poetic, but when it comes down to it the bible said it all first.

Sometimes, I think every woman...and man...everyone needs to be reminded that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's easy to look at yourself in the mirror and criticize what you see. Or if you make a mistake, become a little depressed because you didn't quite meet the standards. We all put expectations on ourselves to "try harder", "do better", "be the best you can be". We think we need to look a certain way, or act a certain way...I'm sorry though...I don't meet that mold. I am never going to be a size 2, I am never going to be out at the clubs, dating different guys, or even becoming a perfect little housewife who solves every problem, because that just is not me!!

But I don't have to worry about becoming something I'm not because I know that God made ME the way I am

Size 14
5'7"
size 9 feet
with brown hair
and blue eyes
a huge smile
a laugh that can sometimes sound like a Hyena
a girl who can be shy, but really loud at the same time
who loves kids
cries at the weirdest times
loves cartoons and disney movies
reads mysteries and romance books
is a little forgetful and late at times
Compassionate
will listen to you
is a shoulder to cry on
is not touchy touchy...but will give you a hug when it's needed
considers her friends a part of her family
loves to hang out with her family and friends....and watch a good movie
prays...especially when someone else needs it
loves to hear she is loved...
loves Jesus with all her heart
and loves others with that same heart

That's who I am...I'm sure there is much more to me, that I'm forgetting...lol. But that is the good, the bad, and the ugly for sure...It's still great to know that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made though!

Psalms 139

...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well...

Looking back...Changes

Well, I changed the title of my blog, after all, I am no longer a Nursing STUDENT...I'm an actual nurse. Why do I have the sudden urge to want to cry?

Hmmm, why don't I answer my own question...wanting to cry, hmmm??

I think it comes from change, all these changes that are happening all at once. I was looking back and reading some of the entries from my journal and it seems that I have changed immensely. People in my life have changed to, some who were important in the past I barely talk to now, while others who I never knew till recently have become very important to me. It blows your mind on how much can change in 4 years. time goes by to quickly, part of me just wants to hold it, freeze time, and enjoy the moments that are happening now, and then another part of me wants to speed things up to see what other changes might happen.

I think I'm hitting this scared about change feeling because I'm finding being a Graduate Nurse, newly out of school makes me question myself. It's not that I don't like being out of school, because I do...I really do. making money and being able to pay off debt and support yourself is a wonderful previlage that I do not want to lose anytime soon. It's probably because my "safety net" is gone. I no longer have everyone looking over my sholder, the only people really that I'm accountable to is my self and my patient...please tell me you think that's scary too? Experts say that the one "line" a new nurse prays before he or she goes to work is "Please don't let me kill anyone today" Well so far, I have not killed anyone, and I pray I never will.

Thankfully though, I have a great support system behind me and beside me, the staff on my floor are great, any questions I have they are right there, if I need help they are more then willing to offer it. My parents are awesome ( can't wait to live on my own though, I think my parental relationship will be much better when I'm not living under the same...I was going to say roof, but by the end of the year, I still will be living under the same roof...but not the same living space...lol) my friends are fantastic, whenever I need a shoulder or an ear, or just a hug, they are great. And of course, I always have God...he never leaves or forsakes me. I'm trying hard to try and take time for Him, I think I was "too busy" while in school. I just didn't have my priorities straight. I believe I'm turning over a new stone...or leaf or something, maybe it's a tree!!

Anyway, I'll write again soon. It's kind of fun rereading some of the journal entries...gives me an insight into myself, I think I won't do it again anytime soon...It takes a lot of time!

First day finished

Well, there is one day down...and so many more to go, but it's the beginning of something wonderful and exciting. In case you didn't know I did my first day of PAID work today (like real pay, the pay of a Graduate Nurse) It really makes you feel like you are worth something. I had to fill out my health and dental...ooo and life insurance, if I died my parents wouldn't have anything to worry about. But then again they would miss my wonderful presence and no one should be deprieved of that...lol.

So my legs are still slightly sore from my workout on Friday Morning, I never knew muscles could be worked so hard just from an exercise. I have another session tommorow and I'm really hoping that I'm completely healed by that time. The chances of that is slim to none though.

I watched Alvin and the Chipmunks this evening, it brings back happy memories {Alvin}...hehehe, the movie was cute it made me smile. Perfect for kids, It's a little too kiddish though even for me! But it's enjoyable, especially listening to the different music and the way they would create it could be totally incredible.

That's it for now, I have another day of Orientation tomorrow, ergonomics...whoohoo...it should be interesting, it means I'm wearing jeans and sneakers tomorrow, being comfortable is my most important goal!

Orientation

Starting orientation tomorrow, it's so exciting. It's the first day of work, like real work. I get a real paycheck after two weeks. I can't believe it...I knew this day would come, I knew it, four years ago I knew this day was on the horizon, but it's here, it's tommorow, I will have to be responsible for myself and for my actions. It's an awe inspiring feeling. At the age of 22 I am going to have a degree, a full time job, and be a registered nurse. It's almost overwhelming.

Almost not a student anymore

I can't believe it, I have now finished Preceptorship, got the credit for it..woohoo! It's almost overwhelming, so exciting though. I start my new job within one week, Hospital Orientation, then orientation to the floor. What's even scarier, is my parents are now talking about redoing the basement, making it so I have a place of my own. It would be a dream, almost a dream that I shouldn't wish for because what if it doesn't come true. There is a lot of work to do downstairs...number one being to put in walls, then put in the bathroom, then get furniture and appliances, move out the oil stove, and then move in. But when it all comes down to it, I wish I could move in tommorow.



Things are happening so fast, so many changes are going to happen within the next year and that's absolutely amazing to think about. And then there will probably be even more changes over the next two years. I would like to go back to school and get my Nurse Practitioners, that would be another dream. So many dreams and ambitions, atleast I've accomplished One...I'm graduating from University!!!



The Plans for My apartment in the basement:

nearly finished

It's an odd, and wonderful feeling, being nearly finished. My preceptoship is nearly done...but I have a to do list the height of the eiffel tower!!

to Do:

Go to the gym (want to work out you know, so I can feel good in my dress)
Finish my evaluation
go tanning
Start video
Read a few good books
put together game for youth
attend pin diner
attend graduation

oh yeah...Most importat: Study for Giant test being written on June 4th!!

yes, that is my to do list, for the next few weeks, so even though I have put my time in working, and studying...I'm only nearly finished.

Copy Cat of Lindsay!! Love YOU

Here are the directions...go to urbandictionαry.com, αnd type in your αnswer to eαch question in the seαrch box. once you get the definition, copy αnd pαste it under your αnswer.

1. Your Name: Jocelyn
The femanine name for Jesus
I'm your personal Jocelyn. Worship me.

2. Nickname:
Jojo:

a) Derived from the disturbingly young American singer, meaning any girl who is clearly looking and acting many years above her age. Her first single Get Out (Leave) is the classic case in point, apparently about a 14 year old conducting a relationship with all the faux emotion and stormy angst of an abused middle aged wife.

"Look at that little Jojo - barely a freshman, but she's already dated half the football team, and is busy stressing about which Gucci handbag to carry"

b) A slang name for marajuana.

"Man, you know where I can find some jojo?"

c) The most beautiful, great, awesome, sexy, funny, cool, football loving, (did i mention beautiful) girl you will ever meet.

"I think I met JoJo last night... It was awesome!!!!!"
(I'm going with this one)

3. Relationship status: Single

When you are currently not in a relationship with a significant other.It usually does not bother you, but the problems start when selfish and inconsiderate assholes rub in the fact that they have someone, and start saying they "love their oh-so-sexy boyfriends/girlfriends" and start going on and on about what he/she does for them, CAN do, and blah blah.NOBODY CARES HOW GREAT HE/SHE IS TO YOU!!

If you're taken, and love your partner a lot, then good for you, but for goodness's sakes, at least show some consideration for SINGLE people! Some of these people may even be heartbroken ones, who have been abused by past partners, or just simply some that are sick of hearing about some stupid narrow-sighted people who only see either how "hot" their partner is, or how much money he/she has.Talk about your partner if you want to.. but.. just calm down about it. Your life does not fucking revolve around him/her, so don't act like it.

single person: "Hi. I am single.taken person: HIII! OMFG I'm TAKEN by OMG the BEEESSTT guy EVVVEERRR!! He's SOOO cute and OMFG we go to MOVIES together and do FRENCH KISSES and all!! YAYYY FLOWERS and ICE CREAM and PRESENTS!!! He's SOOO awesome and makes me SOOOO HAPPY!!!!"

single person: -_-.... *walks away*

(I laughed so hard, I cried)

4. You describe you Best Friend as: Loyal

noun.
A name granted only to those who are gods among mere men. Known for their stunning good looks, unparalleled intelligence, and wielding the strength of 10 men - recognizing a Loyal is almost as easy as picking out Michael Moore among a tribe of starving Eithiopians.These powerful beings are burdened with the task of using their power for good, benefiting all of human kind with what has been given so freely to them.

Yet, these magnificent beings have one weakness... an unsatisfied craving for alcohol. Luckily, their high fortitude rarely allows them to get too drunk or surely destruction would rain down upon the land. Still, this yearning for sweet sweet booze often prevents the Loyal from achieving their full potential - instead opting to satiate their intense thirst in fine spirits... inevitably pushing their task of creating a Utopia for mankind further and further into the future.If confronted with a Loyal, avoid eye contact. Often the shock of witnessing their raw image can be blinding and in extreme cases, cause unconsiousness or even death.

adj.

Can be used to describe anything fantastical or mindboggling in nature.

"Avert thine eyes, that be a Loyal."

adj.

"It's breathtaking, startling, it's... Loyal."

5. What should you be doing: Sleeping

a mystical kind of magic which sends u to an alternate plane of existence in which the magical gremlins give u pro plus

6. Favorite Meal: Nachos

a) The "we're sorry" food of ConvergysNachos are usually placed in the employee lunchroom by Human Resources a day or two before the employees’ loose one or more previously enjoyed rights or freedoms. Nachos are also known to have appeared shortly before the announcement of major changes to employee work schedules.

"There is a basket of nachos in the lunch room. We must be getting screwed sometime this week."

b) A combination of tortilla/nacho chips and nacho cheese sauce. Sometimes includes tomatoes, onions, peppers, beans, and other yummy things. Possibly the best snack ever created.

"Dude, let's go get some nachos."

7. Home Province: New Brunswick (NB)
(I thought this one was kind of funny...)

Annoyingly long stretch of road when travelling from Maine to your final vacation destination of Nova Scotia or Prince Edward Island.

"3 hours of driving through this boring place (new brunswick) and we'll finally be in Charlottetown. Hope East Saint John doesn't smell too bad today."

8. Your Friends: Rambunkchious

ta be happy or exited, wild and krazy, to be rambunkchious you gotta PARTY...outta control

9. One word that describes you: Compassion

a) Something only the truly hardcore and awesome people in this world possess. While it's popular to believe that only wusses are compassionate, this is not true, it takes guts to care. It's popular to call the compassionate names because people who don't care feel like bitches when they see us doing something they don't have the balls to do.Anyone can lack compassion, it's easy, just do nothing that helps other people.

Compassion isn't to be confused with being a tool you become a tool by being compassionate and naive.

b) someone who cares about the thoughts and feelings of others before they think of themselves

"all of my friends are compassionate"

OR Nurse

A health care professional who has been educated and trained to care for the sick, in hospitals, or other health facilities.Nurses are assigned to patients in hospitals and look after their physical health (disease prevention and treatment) as well as their emotional and mental health.

Registered nurse (RN): Attended university for four years(not be confused with enrolled nurse or assistant in nursing)

Well, that was certainly interesting, I never knew people could be so creative...lol

I'll Miss You Grampy Thompson

This week I lost my grandfather...Ralph Thompson. This has been one of the most weirdest experiences of my life. They say everyone grieves differently, but I don't even know if I'm grieving. I only recently got to know my grandfather better, he has lived in Burlington, Ontario for all of my life, and I only ever got to see him when he visited in the summer time.

This past summer, I had the opportunity to go to Burlington while he was in the hospital, it was there that I realized how proud and important I was to him. All his family was very important to him. I just think it was difficult for him to show it to us.

It's amazing...I find I've learned a lot about life from this death, and a lot about people. I've even learned a little bit about myself. I gave the Eulogy at the funeral, I never dreamed I would have the privelage and honour to do that for my grandfather and my family...Mostly I did it for my mom. I can't imagine what she's thinking. All I think, when I put myself in her shoes is what would it be like to not have any parents. She and her sisters are where the generations end, there is no parent behind her...I just can't imagine the surrealness of that thougt.

Well, there are my thoughts, and here is my eulogy:

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.
Ernest Hemingway

A perfect description to why we like to know a little bit about who a person was, what they did, and what they cherished most in their lives. I received 2 letters one from Metta a friend in Ontario, a neighbour who lived across and Hazel Douthwright Who lived on the next farm in Cassidy Lake.

To begin Ralph Thompson was the second son of Jennie and Leonard Thompson of Taylor Lake Road. He was born on July 30 1929. He lived on a farm and worked in the woods at an early age. He talked about a time when he was 12 years old and his dad was sick and they were running out of wood for the stoves. Ralph and a younger brother hooked up a team of horses and went to woods, worked all day to bring out a load of wood for the family. So even at a young age Ralph was in the woods.

Ralph had 1 sister Doreen who later became a nurse and four brothers, Cecil, Gerald, George and Harold.

As a young man Ralph worked in clearing land, one such job that he helped with was clearing land for the Saint John Airport.

Ralph married Norma Ann in 1957, when they were first married they lived on St. Martin’s Road where they built there home and Ralph spent days driving a government truck. They then went on to the Cassidy Lake Farm, or as I fondly call it Grampy Thompsons farm.

Hazel douthwright can remember when Ralph moved to Cassidy Lake in 1961 with his wife Norma and there two little girls, Laura, Beth, and later on having two more girls Karen and Kelly. He wasn’t a wealthy man as far as money but he had riches with his family.

Ralph loved his farms, he had all kinds of animals and loved them, he especially loved cats and dogs, and his favourite horse named John.

Some of Ralph’s favourite things to do were to go to Sussex to the Wednesday Auction. , not so much to buy anything, just to talk to old friends, and no matter where he went he always made new friends. He also would go to Hauling matches; he attended all he could make, always hoping Elden DeMerchant’s team would come first.

Ralph never talked bad of anyone, he had great patience, very few times he let his anger show, he always seemed happy in his life, never complaining. Metta says the same things: A man true to himself, Ralph was always Ralph, be it whether you talked to him Monday or Friday, he would greet you in the same manner, the famous big smile and always kind words to go along with it


He was a great neighbour, his neighbors became his friends. Like Hazel’s father (Kenneth) they worked together doing most chores, haying, cutting wood, sharing pastures, machinery, even conversation, shoeing horses, even dressing deer that Ralph hit on the road at night.

There was one thing Ralph couldn’t do. He couldn’t milk a cow, he tried and tried to learn always ending up with a dry pail. Norma took the girls to the barn and did the milking.

After Normas passing in 1979 Ralph went through some rough times, then Rita came to Cassidy Lake, they became real good friends and he returned to Ontario to live at her house, never forgetting his New Brunswick roots. According to Metta Ralph was always true to his roots, he missed all those from “down home” most of all,he missed his girls. He talked a lot about his girls. What they were doing, about their families, and even when Laura got a new dog. He loved to share stories about his past.

He would come back two or three times a year, every year, I can see those summers that he was at the farm. Lots happened at the farm, I remember Kelly getting engaged, I remember running through the fields, family barbecues, I think all of the grandkids at one point in time have fallen into the stream and have been drenched from head to toe. Ralph was there for all of that.

He came back every year until 2007 when he was too ill to make the trip. Metta says that He was one of the few people that she’s ever met that managed to maintain his positive attitude all through his illness.

Now his final trip home, he is still going to be resting beside his old neighbors, Kenneth, Murray, and Dorothy, who are all in the Sussex corner cemetery, a place we can visit and have fond memories of days gone bye, with the smells in the air of fresh cut hay and home grown fertilizer.

Ralph Thompson will be missed and will always be in our memories.

Kelly Long his youngest daughter with a little help wrote a poem in memory of Grampy Thompson. As I read this poem think of Ralph.


CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE

Life is precious, life is sweet
I am a Man who know no defeat

Lumber Jack, Farmer, Scrap Yard and More.
My life was full without All the bore

My friends and family I was truly blessed,
Couldn't of asked for anything less

Good times and bad were all special to me
now God has come to set me free

don't be sad, Please don't mourn,
I have been a free spirite since the day I was born

Remember the good times and keep them forever
I will take them with me as memories to treasure

The time has come for me to go
A place called heaven is where I will flow

The Pain is gone and the peace has set in
I am in a good spot now my family and friends


I'll miss you Grampy Thompson

The School Nurse