Looking back...Changes

Well, I changed the title of my blog, after all, I am no longer a Nursing STUDENT...I'm an actual nurse. Why do I have the sudden urge to want to cry?

Hmmm, why don't I answer my own question...wanting to cry, hmmm??

I think it comes from change, all these changes that are happening all at once. I was looking back and reading some of the entries from my journal and it seems that I have changed immensely. People in my life have changed to, some who were important in the past I barely talk to now, while others who I never knew till recently have become very important to me. It blows your mind on how much can change in 4 years. time goes by to quickly, part of me just wants to hold it, freeze time, and enjoy the moments that are happening now, and then another part of me wants to speed things up to see what other changes might happen.

I think I'm hitting this scared about change feeling because I'm finding being a Graduate Nurse, newly out of school makes me question myself. It's not that I don't like being out of school, because I do...I really do. making money and being able to pay off debt and support yourself is a wonderful previlage that I do not want to lose anytime soon. It's probably because my "safety net" is gone. I no longer have everyone looking over my sholder, the only people really that I'm accountable to is my self and my patient...please tell me you think that's scary too? Experts say that the one "line" a new nurse prays before he or she goes to work is "Please don't let me kill anyone today" Well so far, I have not killed anyone, and I pray I never will.

Thankfully though, I have a great support system behind me and beside me, the staff on my floor are great, any questions I have they are right there, if I need help they are more then willing to offer it. My parents are awesome ( can't wait to live on my own though, I think my parental relationship will be much better when I'm not living under the same...I was going to say roof, but by the end of the year, I still will be living under the same roof...but not the same living space...lol) my friends are fantastic, whenever I need a shoulder or an ear, or just a hug, they are great. And of course, I always have God...he never leaves or forsakes me. I'm trying hard to try and take time for Him, I think I was "too busy" while in school. I just didn't have my priorities straight. I believe I'm turning over a new stone...or leaf or something, maybe it's a tree!!

Anyway, I'll write again soon. It's kind of fun rereading some of the journal entries...gives me an insight into myself, I think I won't do it again anytime soon...It takes a lot of time!