Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I figured since this is what I changed my name to, I should dedicate a post to it for everyone to understand where it comes from.

I've been reading a book recently called "Captivating" and it talks a lot about a woman's soul and such. It's very poetic, but when it comes down to it the bible said it all first.

Sometimes, I think every woman...and man...everyone needs to be reminded that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's easy to look at yourself in the mirror and criticize what you see. Or if you make a mistake, become a little depressed because you didn't quite meet the standards. We all put expectations on ourselves to "try harder", "do better", "be the best you can be". We think we need to look a certain way, or act a certain way...I'm sorry though...I don't meet that mold. I am never going to be a size 2, I am never going to be out at the clubs, dating different guys, or even becoming a perfect little housewife who solves every problem, because that just is not me!!

But I don't have to worry about becoming something I'm not because I know that God made ME the way I am

Size 14
5'7"
size 9 feet
with brown hair
and blue eyes
a huge smile
a laugh that can sometimes sound like a Hyena
a girl who can be shy, but really loud at the same time
who loves kids
cries at the weirdest times
loves cartoons and disney movies
reads mysteries and romance books
is a little forgetful and late at times
Compassionate
will listen to you
is a shoulder to cry on
is not touchy touchy...but will give you a hug when it's needed
considers her friends a part of her family
loves to hang out with her family and friends....and watch a good movie
prays...especially when someone else needs it
loves to hear she is loved...
loves Jesus with all her heart
and loves others with that same heart

That's who I am...I'm sure there is much more to me, that I'm forgetting...lol. But that is the good, the bad, and the ugly for sure...It's still great to know that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made though!

Psalms 139

...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well...

Looking back...Changes

Well, I changed the title of my blog, after all, I am no longer a Nursing STUDENT...I'm an actual nurse. Why do I have the sudden urge to want to cry?

Hmmm, why don't I answer my own question...wanting to cry, hmmm??

I think it comes from change, all these changes that are happening all at once. I was looking back and reading some of the entries from my journal and it seems that I have changed immensely. People in my life have changed to, some who were important in the past I barely talk to now, while others who I never knew till recently have become very important to me. It blows your mind on how much can change in 4 years. time goes by to quickly, part of me just wants to hold it, freeze time, and enjoy the moments that are happening now, and then another part of me wants to speed things up to see what other changes might happen.

I think I'm hitting this scared about change feeling because I'm finding being a Graduate Nurse, newly out of school makes me question myself. It's not that I don't like being out of school, because I do...I really do. making money and being able to pay off debt and support yourself is a wonderful previlage that I do not want to lose anytime soon. It's probably because my "safety net" is gone. I no longer have everyone looking over my sholder, the only people really that I'm accountable to is my self and my patient...please tell me you think that's scary too? Experts say that the one "line" a new nurse prays before he or she goes to work is "Please don't let me kill anyone today" Well so far, I have not killed anyone, and I pray I never will.

Thankfully though, I have a great support system behind me and beside me, the staff on my floor are great, any questions I have they are right there, if I need help they are more then willing to offer it. My parents are awesome ( can't wait to live on my own though, I think my parental relationship will be much better when I'm not living under the same...I was going to say roof, but by the end of the year, I still will be living under the same roof...but not the same living space...lol) my friends are fantastic, whenever I need a shoulder or an ear, or just a hug, they are great. And of course, I always have God...he never leaves or forsakes me. I'm trying hard to try and take time for Him, I think I was "too busy" while in school. I just didn't have my priorities straight. I believe I'm turning over a new stone...or leaf or something, maybe it's a tree!!

Anyway, I'll write again soon. It's kind of fun rereading some of the journal entries...gives me an insight into myself, I think I won't do it again anytime soon...It takes a lot of time!