AHHH...I start clinical tommorow

Tommorow is my first day of clinical...I have no idea (well I have some idea) as to what to expect. I am very nervous. I only get one patient though so I shouldn't fret to much. but it's still worrisome. I feel like I haven't learned anything, like I'm not prepared for what is being placed in front of me. But I will do my best. Atleast I won't be doing it alone. I will be partnered up with someone, and will have my instructor and my cover nurse. Everything will be fine. Yes, absolutely fine. yikes!!!

Ok so this semester I'm not doing as well on my tests as I would like to be doing. I'm still getting B's but I would like to get a scholarship come fall. And the way I can do that is by getting my average up. Ok, I know I'm talking craziness but I still am a little disappointed with myself. It's my own fault for not studying. I will do better.

Have you ever read a book and the story has been in the back of your mind, but you just can't remember how it exactly ended. Than you're thinking, it would be nice if you could read it again. Well I was doing that with a book. And my mother picked this book up from the store. And I thought the title looked familiar, than I read the back and was like, That sounds familar than once I got three pages in...I was like...I've read this, and I got all excited, because it had been a few years since I read it so it was exciting that my mom picked up this random book that I had been thinking about. What a coincidence huh??

Ok I hope everyone is feeling well and not to bogged with life...be happy and live life...you never know when you are creating a memory.

Voiceless...no longer

So there hasn't been anything really interesting happening in my life other than I kind of lost my voice. Yes I did, I lost my voice. This past weekend I taught swimming lessons, than I did another two hours at a birthday party...using my voice staying upbeat and happy, and well my voice disappeared. (BTW: I think my throat had been kind of irritated due to all the gunk that dripped down from my nose) so that didn't help. Therefore I lost my voice. But don't worry ladies and gentlemen I got it BACK. Yes It has returned. I am no longer voice impaired. I can talk and I just love doing it!! So warning if I get going there will be no stopping me.


ooo...just a side note, did anyone watch the Episode of ER last night. It was a dosey. I was shocked I literally gasped. To say the least I wasn't expecting that. Than I thought what I would do in that situation...would I just stand there, what would I do, would I be so in shock that I wouldn't do anything. Hum...I wonder...I hope I never have to get in a situation like that.

ok sienara...(don't know how to spell anything in other languages)

(maybe my bio test is back eeek...hope I did ok)

storm, storm, storm!

There was a storm here today. It was windy, and there were some snow drifts. But it wasn't really a storm if you get my drift. (hahaha) It wasn't really a storm because I still went to school. grrrr...I said to my mom this morning, that's the one thing I miss about high school,

STORM DAYS!

To explain why I'm a little annoyed though, you would have to understand, I go in with my mom to school in the morning @ like 8am. my first class isn't till 10:30, I didn't find out till I find out a say 9 that the first class is cancelled. ok that's fine I still have two more. I find out a half hour later my afternoon class is cancelled. I'm thinking ok, I still have one more class. I don't find out till 11:00...an hour and a half before class starts that it is cancelled. Yay, I went to school for no reason. There has got to be a better snow information system than what there is!! Ok, that is all I have to say about today. Here you can even check out the system.

Don't have a cold!

For the past few days my nose has been running on and off. My throat has been a little scratchy, but I think that has to do with the fact that I taught on Saturday (I use my voice a lot when I teach to the point where I almost yell). But than I think the mucous from my nose dripped down into my throat and that's why it's sore now. But I don't have a cold. You know how icky you feel when you have a cold, and all you want to do is go back to bed...well I don't have that feeling. I feel fine. I just have a runny nose. Some people are saying allergies, but which allergy is it?? I mean really, it's tough nowing what you're allergic to. Also, I get really whizzy, when I come inside from the cold. I don't notice because I think of it as common, but my peers, the other nursing students are like...that sounds aweful, it might be asthma and that I should get it checked out by my family doctor.

But I'm not sick!!!

What to do???

hmm, got me thinking?

ok, so I read my friends blog about selfishness, and the first thing that popped into my mind was she's talking about me...but than I was like if she thought I was being selfish, than she would have told me !! Which got me thinking, If the first thing my mind goes to when someone talks about being selfish is to myself, than maybe I have been being selfish. Maybe it's my unconcious coming out in me. Maybe I think what I'm doing is more important than anything else. Maybe I haven't been paying attention to anyone else...I mean anyone. Including my friends, my family, even Jesus. I've ignored everyone. I keep saying to myself oh your busy...but I'm not. If I have time to sit down and write a blog about...how knows what, I should have enough time for everyone else.

Which also brings me to the fact that I don't feel like I'm being selfish, but maybe the way I'm acting and the way I say things sounds like I think of myself more than others. Maybe I have to watch my attitude.

But on the other hand, if I keep following the pack, what kind of person will I be. Will I need other people to make my descisions. Will I be able to stand alone when the time came. Maybe this is the time to be selfish. Concentrate on school, on your job, and be proud of your accomplishments. Is that being selfish?? If you have an explanation of what line you cross that brings you to selfishness, I would like to know. I hate to thing of myself as being selfish...I mean really who has heard of a selfish nurse!!

It's not in the job description to be selfish as a nurse. And Nursing right now feels like it's my life. Maybe that's where I'm being selfish...I only think about nursing...I don't see the other things that are around me! I only see ME!!!

Is that a completely bad thing though...for so long, I've felt like my opinion didn't matter. That I didn't matter. That I didn't fit in somehow sometimes. Sometimes I had to change myself to create someone who fit in. Is that right?

Now though, I'm me, with no one really around. I have Lin, but I will always have her, nothing will change that. But we are both so busy that we haven't noticed that the only thing we talk about is school, I remember when we used to be on the phone for hours. But I guess things change. I have Kell, But we're in two different places, doing the same thing, that could get difficult, and than I have Kyla, who is away doing her own thing, and I'm so proud of her, but where's the connection? Than the guys are always going to be there (away but still there) If I need advice they are just an e-mail away.

But there is no one here for me...is that being selfish??

Is wanting someone in your life that really cares about you...I mean like totally devoted to you so wrong. Is that being selfish?

Ok, I'm done talking. My friends don't take it personally, you can't fill this void. I'm not sure what this void is, but I'll tell you when I find out :) Your friendship helps!!

I'm done sounding sad and pathetic...I guess I'm being SELFISH!!
I know bad ending:)

A new Game site!!!!

I've discovered a new site...well really it was recommended to me from one of my friends. POGO. Have you heard of pogo. You go on...sign up and play. Play whatever you want, and you get tokens for it. It's fun and distracting. Like for instance I should be studying right now...but well as you can see I am not. So go check out Pogo!! My fav. games are the "First Class Solitaire" and "Raindy day spider Solitaire" I know, They are solitaire games but really it is addicting...ooo try out dominoes to.

POGO

Back at School

So I kind of ignored anything to do with blogging over the christmas holidays, cause...well, I just didn't want to write. I have to write and think during school I wasn't willing to myself through trying to come up with understandable sentences, that everyone would enjoy so HA!!

Ok, so I'm back at school. Went back on the third of January. Talk about cruel. The public school system didn't even go back to school till the fourth. And even most places of employment waited till the fourth for people to return to work. So it was cruel to make the University students go back. Well not ALL university students are back at school. Some PEOPLE...(I will not name names, but you know who you are) even have another week after till they go back to University, or college. I nw that means I get out earlier than them but at this point...I DO NOT CARE!!! I'm tired, and I want to go back to bed! That was my complaining for the week. :) I probably won't complain anymore (now no laughing...I will try not to complain).

My first week of school was interesting. I got syllabuses, and everything else you get the first day of classes. I have 6 courses just like last semester.

Psych Life Span and Development (nursing course/psych course)
Biology Anatomy and Physiology (another nursing course)
Biology Anatomy and Physiology Lab (nursing course where I disect things...Yay)
Psychology 1004 (regular psych...it's a night class)
Nursing 1225 Nursing and Wellness (class part learn theories and textbook things)
Nursing 1235 Nursing and Wellness (Clinical Practicum...I go into the hospital!!!)

Those are my courses...it will keep me busy to say the least. On Febuary 28th alone I have two midterms, and it just keeps getting better and better. My Clinical shecdule seems like a draft that a two year old child did because it is just so confusing. I can't explain it becuase I don't know how it goes. All I know, if I'm not one place one date I'm supposed to be at another place. Than the day I go out in the community the opposite day I go to lab. than every opposite week I go to Clinical, and every other monday I have to pick up my assignments, at another place other than the University. Than I have independent labs to pass in on specific dates but they are my responsibility. Each group has a different time to go to lab, and than I have computer traing on any given day they assign. Yep...I know, It confused me...I wonder why! Biology seems like it will be much more fun. Keiffer teaches it. If any of you know who I mean, you know this semester will be much better than the last one. Lab will be the same...but I get to disect more things this term. Like an eye, a heart, and probably something else but I don't remember. Psych Life Span and Development should be interesting the prof seems really cool, and tests are only mutiple choice. And I like mutiple choice. Makes life ten times easier. Less trying to figure out the right way to say things, and the answer is right in front of me.

So all in all this semester should go well...plus I finish on April 23rd...yay, that means there could potentially be four months that I can work. Get a job save up for the next year that I have to go back to University. Atleast I'll be one year finished...and 3 left to go! YAY!