AHHH...I start clinical tommorow

Tommorow is my first day of clinical...I have no idea (well I have some idea) as to what to expect. I am very nervous. I only get one patient though so I shouldn't fret to much. but it's still worrisome. I feel like I haven't learned anything, like I'm not prepared for what is being placed in front of me. But I will do my best. Atleast I won't be doing it alone. I will be partnered up with someone, and will have my instructor and my cover nurse. Everything will be fine. Yes, absolutely fine. yikes!!!

Ok so this semester I'm not doing as well on my tests as I would like to be doing. I'm still getting B's but I would like to get a scholarship come fall. And the way I can do that is by getting my average up. Ok, I know I'm talking craziness but I still am a little disappointed with myself. It's my own fault for not studying. I will do better.

Have you ever read a book and the story has been in the back of your mind, but you just can't remember how it exactly ended. Than you're thinking, it would be nice if you could read it again. Well I was doing that with a book. And my mother picked this book up from the store. And I thought the title looked familiar, than I read the back and was like, That sounds familar than once I got three pages in...I was like...I've read this, and I got all excited, because it had been a few years since I read it so it was exciting that my mom picked up this random book that I had been thinking about. What a coincidence huh??

Ok I hope everyone is feeling well and not to bogged with life...be happy and live life...you never know when you are creating a memory.

Voiceless...no longer

So there hasn't been anything really interesting happening in my life other than I kind of lost my voice. Yes I did, I lost my voice. This past weekend I taught swimming lessons, than I did another two hours at a birthday party...using my voice staying upbeat and happy, and well my voice disappeared. (BTW: I think my throat had been kind of irritated due to all the gunk that dripped down from my nose) so that didn't help. Therefore I lost my voice. But don't worry ladies and gentlemen I got it BACK. Yes It has returned. I am no longer voice impaired. I can talk and I just love doing it!! So warning if I get going there will be no stopping me.


ooo...just a side note, did anyone watch the Episode of ER last night. It was a dosey. I was shocked I literally gasped. To say the least I wasn't expecting that. Than I thought what I would do in that situation...would I just stand there, what would I do, would I be so in shock that I wouldn't do anything. Hum...I wonder...I hope I never have to get in a situation like that.

ok sienara...(don't know how to spell anything in other languages)

(maybe my bio test is back eeek...hope I did ok)

storm, storm, storm!

There was a storm here today. It was windy, and there were some snow drifts. But it wasn't really a storm if you get my drift. (hahaha) It wasn't really a storm because I still went to school. grrrr...I said to my mom this morning, that's the one thing I miss about high school,

STORM DAYS!

To explain why I'm a little annoyed though, you would have to understand, I go in with my mom to school in the morning @ like 8am. my first class isn't till 10:30, I didn't find out till I find out a say 9 that the first class is cancelled. ok that's fine I still have two more. I find out a half hour later my afternoon class is cancelled. I'm thinking ok, I still have one more class. I don't find out till 11:00...an hour and a half before class starts that it is cancelled. Yay, I went to school for no reason. There has got to be a better snow information system than what there is!! Ok, that is all I have to say about today. Here you can even check out the system.

Don't have a cold!

For the past few days my nose has been running on and off. My throat has been a little scratchy, but I think that has to do with the fact that I taught on Saturday (I use my voice a lot when I teach to the point where I almost yell). But than I think the mucous from my nose dripped down into my throat and that's why it's sore now. But I don't have a cold. You know how icky you feel when you have a cold, and all you want to do is go back to bed...well I don't have that feeling. I feel fine. I just have a runny nose. Some people are saying allergies, but which allergy is it?? I mean really, it's tough nowing what you're allergic to. Also, I get really whizzy, when I come inside from the cold. I don't notice because I think of it as common, but my peers, the other nursing students are like...that sounds aweful, it might be asthma and that I should get it checked out by my family doctor.

But I'm not sick!!!

What to do???

hmm, got me thinking?

ok, so I read my friends blog about selfishness, and the first thing that popped into my mind was she's talking about me...but than I was like if she thought I was being selfish, than she would have told me !! Which got me thinking, If the first thing my mind goes to when someone talks about being selfish is to myself, than maybe I have been being selfish. Maybe it's my unconcious coming out in me. Maybe I think what I'm doing is more important than anything else. Maybe I haven't been paying attention to anyone else...I mean anyone. Including my friends, my family, even Jesus. I've ignored everyone. I keep saying to myself oh your busy...but I'm not. If I have time to sit down and write a blog about...how knows what, I should have enough time for everyone else.

Which also brings me to the fact that I don't feel like I'm being selfish, but maybe the way I'm acting and the way I say things sounds like I think of myself more than others. Maybe I have to watch my attitude.

But on the other hand, if I keep following the pack, what kind of person will I be. Will I need other people to make my descisions. Will I be able to stand alone when the time came. Maybe this is the time to be selfish. Concentrate on school, on your job, and be proud of your accomplishments. Is that being selfish?? If you have an explanation of what line you cross that brings you to selfishness, I would like to know. I hate to thing of myself as being selfish...I mean really who has heard of a selfish nurse!!

It's not in the job description to be selfish as a nurse. And Nursing right now feels like it's my life. Maybe that's where I'm being selfish...I only think about nursing...I don't see the other things that are around me! I only see ME!!!

Is that a completely bad thing though...for so long, I've felt like my opinion didn't matter. That I didn't matter. That I didn't fit in somehow sometimes. Sometimes I had to change myself to create someone who fit in. Is that right?

Now though, I'm me, with no one really around. I have Lin, but I will always have her, nothing will change that. But we are both so busy that we haven't noticed that the only thing we talk about is school, I remember when we used to be on the phone for hours. But I guess things change. I have Kell, But we're in two different places, doing the same thing, that could get difficult, and than I have Kyla, who is away doing her own thing, and I'm so proud of her, but where's the connection? Than the guys are always going to be there (away but still there) If I need advice they are just an e-mail away.

But there is no one here for me...is that being selfish??

Is wanting someone in your life that really cares about you...I mean like totally devoted to you so wrong. Is that being selfish?

Ok, I'm done talking. My friends don't take it personally, you can't fill this void. I'm not sure what this void is, but I'll tell you when I find out :) Your friendship helps!!

I'm done sounding sad and pathetic...I guess I'm being SELFISH!!
I know bad ending:)

A new Game site!!!!

I've discovered a new site...well really it was recommended to me from one of my friends. POGO. Have you heard of pogo. You go on...sign up and play. Play whatever you want, and you get tokens for it. It's fun and distracting. Like for instance I should be studying right now...but well as you can see I am not. So go check out Pogo!! My fav. games are the "First Class Solitaire" and "Raindy day spider Solitaire" I know, They are solitaire games but really it is addicting...ooo try out dominoes to.

POGO

Back at School

So I kind of ignored anything to do with blogging over the christmas holidays, cause...well, I just didn't want to write. I have to write and think during school I wasn't willing to myself through trying to come up with understandable sentences, that everyone would enjoy so HA!!

Ok, so I'm back at school. Went back on the third of January. Talk about cruel. The public school system didn't even go back to school till the fourth. And even most places of employment waited till the fourth for people to return to work. So it was cruel to make the University students go back. Well not ALL university students are back at school. Some PEOPLE...(I will not name names, but you know who you are) even have another week after till they go back to University, or college. I nw that means I get out earlier than them but at this point...I DO NOT CARE!!! I'm tired, and I want to go back to bed! That was my complaining for the week. :) I probably won't complain anymore (now no laughing...I will try not to complain).

My first week of school was interesting. I got syllabuses, and everything else you get the first day of classes. I have 6 courses just like last semester.

Psych Life Span and Development (nursing course/psych course)
Biology Anatomy and Physiology (another nursing course)
Biology Anatomy and Physiology Lab (nursing course where I disect things...Yay)
Psychology 1004 (regular psych...it's a night class)
Nursing 1225 Nursing and Wellness (class part learn theories and textbook things)
Nursing 1235 Nursing and Wellness (Clinical Practicum...I go into the hospital!!!)

Those are my courses...it will keep me busy to say the least. On Febuary 28th alone I have two midterms, and it just keeps getting better and better. My Clinical shecdule seems like a draft that a two year old child did because it is just so confusing. I can't explain it becuase I don't know how it goes. All I know, if I'm not one place one date I'm supposed to be at another place. Than the day I go out in the community the opposite day I go to lab. than every opposite week I go to Clinical, and every other monday I have to pick up my assignments, at another place other than the University. Than I have independent labs to pass in on specific dates but they are my responsibility. Each group has a different time to go to lab, and than I have computer traing on any given day they assign. Yep...I know, It confused me...I wonder why! Biology seems like it will be much more fun. Keiffer teaches it. If any of you know who I mean, you know this semester will be much better than the last one. Lab will be the same...but I get to disect more things this term. Like an eye, a heart, and probably something else but I don't remember. Psych Life Span and Development should be interesting the prof seems really cool, and tests are only mutiple choice. And I like mutiple choice. Makes life ten times easier. Less trying to figure out the right way to say things, and the answer is right in front of me.

So all in all this semester should go well...plus I finish on April 23rd...yay, that means there could potentially be four months that I can work. Get a job save up for the next year that I have to go back to University. Atleast I'll be one year finished...and 3 left to go! YAY!

Today, Sunday, what a day!

Well, today is Pastor Mark's and Kim's last day with us. It makes me sad but I'm happy for them. They're headed off to Thailand, to teach English and do Missionary work. Wow! That is amazing. I got to see some people that were in church today home for the holidays. Like Ryan, Mike, Melissa, and Crystal was home from Edmonton. It was cool. It made me happy! I like seeing people I haven't seen in a while. It's like opening a gift of it's own. So tonight I get to go to a christmas party! yeah! I get to see all my High School friends. The ones I hung out with down in the music hall. I'm so excited. I'll post some pictures!! Ok got to go now. Going to church. 6 more sleeps till christmas YEAH!! I'm so excited. I know when I have children this will be the best time of year for me!

ok, Need to finish getting ready. I'll try to blog again tommorow, but I can't promise anything!

Life as I know it right now

Well life is life. I finished my very first University exam yes I know, it is quite an accomplishment. yeah it's hard to believe that I will be starting practically all new courses come January. A few repeat over into second semester (or winter term as some like to say). The exam I did this morning was soc. That was interesting. I did the multiple choice and was like this is awesome. I know practically all of them. Than I hit the short answer. I thought my head would explode. I know I recognized what was being asked but I just couldn't put my finger on the word. I really dislike it when that happens.

Ah, I found out last week that my Youth Pastor and his wife are leaving our church to go to Thailand. I'm excited for them, but I will miss them too. So this will be the 5th youth pastor since I was 13 that has left to do other things. Not that I blame them. I think they made good descisions, but it starts you thinking that there is something wrong with us. Even though I know this is not true!! You still think it. I don't know, maybe it's for the best. LIke I said to Lindsay, maybe the next youth pastor will be single. :) I'm just kidding (or am I).

I've come to realize over the past what month, that I'm older, yes I know that sounds weird but I am. I went to a bar for the very first time last week. (for a christmas party). I'm having reasonable and sane conversations with my mother. Another sign that you are growing up. And we talk about different subjects. Like my love life. Which doesn't exist right now, but it will, it so will!! Plus I started thinking about getting married, and I was like between the age of 20 and 24, and I was like I'll be 20 in less than two years. AH!! It doesn't quite sound right. But than I finally realized I'm okay with that. If I got married in the next few years, I'm really ok with that. I don't need to have my schooling completely finished I just need to be in my fourth year. Yeah I know I"m planning this way too much. But that is okay, cause I know in the next year or two God is sending me someone, and well the rest will be history.

So in other words, I'm ready for life, because life is life, but I can handle it.

Can't wait for Christmas. 17 days till Christmas! It's just so close. I can smell it in the air. Can't YOU??

Blood Type

So as most of you know I gave blood, a little while ago. An interesting experience, but you can read all about it down below. Well I got a letter in the mail yesterday with my blood donor card on it. Telling me what my blood type is. I'm O+ , yes that is my blood type. Not a bad thing. I can donate blood to well any one with th RH factor being positive. That's it. But I can only get, from either O+ or -, which puts me at a greater risk if I need blood, but oh well. That's why I give it and hope other people will to.

Waiting

I hate waiting, it's always seems like time passes by so slowly. I'm waiting for an e-mail, and it just seems like it is taking forever to get here. I only mailed it a few days ago but still. I keep looking on my account to see if I have an e-mail. I know it is pathetic, but it's what I do.Little wimpette here waiting, for who knows what.

Slacking

Well, this is me slacking, I have a quiz next period, but this is me not studying. I haven't studied at all. Which is very dumb. But I'm sorry. I had to finish my Health Dialogue last night, and that took up most of my time. Not to mention all the many things I have to do! I say so many things. Than I went to bed at 1am! 1 in the morning I tell you. It is not smart. I than, kept waking up every 15 minutes. I kept thinking that, oh, it's morning, get up!

Of course everytime I woke up it was never morning. So, now I feel kind of well, cranky. Me being cranky and a quiz I haven't studied for is not very good. Not good at all. So I'm tired, so very tired and I can't wait to get home. I go home early today(bonus of having you aunt as a nurse). She'll come pick you up when she gets off. Ok, going to go fail my quiz now. Wish me luck!

ME

ME
Originally uploaded by godsgirljml.

ok so this was a few years ago, so don't laugh, you can see by the photos after that I've grown up a little bit.

PS: This was the event that I accidently flashed Andrew. He got to see my black bra, NOTHING else. Don't go getting a dirty mind on me now. I so remember this and how embarassed I was. (I really shouldn't be considering how many times people have seen my chest.) Remind me to tell you aboutCircle Square Ranch sometime.

My Eventful Weekend

So my weekend seemed like it was going to be like any other weekend. Friday night I get home early from my biology lab...5 o'clock to be exact, which is nice considering I usually don't get out until 5:30. I was out EARLY! So I get home and there's my brother as usual just relaxing. And this time there is another little dude with him. Our new cousin JOHN! (have I mentioned my aunt is trying to adopt a 11 year old boy that's was origianally from Haiti) Well This is the kid, he's a great kid...very "active". Good thing Michael was babysitting him and not me :) So I cook them supper and I spend the rest of the evening reading a book. Because I haven't read a book in a very long time. It was a good pick me up, I needed a little inspiration that night. I went to bed because I knew I had to work in the morning. Than morning came...


That morning, was one of the worst I've been through...scariest, and well the first time I've ever been through this. I got up like I usually do, got ready to go to the pool, got bathingsuit on and what not. Mom and I leave at like 7:45 (Mom's Driving, cause she needs the van). Just a reminder this is the Saturday where it was the first snow fall, it doesn't seem that bad, just a little flurries at that time. Well did you know that the Rothesay Overpass Bridge freezes before the road, yes, well so did we...but we had to break the car in front of us was slowing down, and mom breaked, well the Bridge is ICE! and we started to fishtail, but we were in the middle of a turn. We than started spinning (no joke), we did two 360's all we had to do at that point was hold on. I completely froze I had no idea what was happening, I just knew we weren't going straight anymore...I didn't clue in that I was about to be in a car accident. I can just remember hearing my mother praying "LORD, Jesus protect us," Than it happened we hit the the rail, the air bags were released and we went flying into them. (Thank God for seatbelts) We than slid down the the road a bit and we sat there. My mom than wipped her cell called 911, and the police were on their way. It felt like seconds, probably cause it was.


I can just remember soon after mom called a man came to the window, wanting to know if everyone was ok. He seemed to be in military garb, he was a nice man, he stayed with us till the ambulance came, which was soon after. The ambulance came, asked us how we were feeling and I was fine, so they left when the police came. While waiting for the police I called work. Nice huh. I had to call work...well considering I had to be in the pool in about 15 minutes I thought it would be good for them to know. The police officier came, and I had this feeling that I knew him ( I found out later that it was my best friends neighbor that I had babysat for before) Amazing huh! Well he drove us to the Aquatic Center where my boos told me to go home. So I did. I couldn't leave yet cause mom and I had to find a way home. So we got a rental car. The car actually drives very nice if I do say so my self, Even though I can't drive it. It took forever to get the car because the guy was so slow and so dumb, but there was another guy there and he was CUTE! He would walk by and smile at me, he evened walked by and winked at me once. Made me feel better, after what I'd been through. We finally got the car, and MOM drove home! Way to go Mom, that's the thing to do, get right back behind the wheel. Smart woman! I got home, showered than called Lin, Can I say I loved Her reaction. WHAT! It was very cool. So I than went to bed to, sleep I say, It was nice, just to relax, and release all the tension in my muscles. I than went out that night...just to make sure I was still alive. I watched Runaway Jury (very good movie by the way) And just so everyone knows I am alive with little injury, We think I just got whiplash, because my neck hurts. Medecine is what is keeping me from staying in bed. And ice...it's funny ice is what caused all this, but it is what makes me feel better.


The next day was Sunday, good ole' Sunday, I went to church in the morning, and well Pastor Duane wanted to know how I was doing, so I told him the truth, so than of course, he announces to the whole church (played it down saying it was a fender-bender) that Mom and I were in a car accident, lovely huh. They prayed, and I seriously felt instantly better, atleast for the service, I than had my client visit to go to, that was cool, I always love seeing her. I came home around 4, and than Lindsay calls...wants me to go outside...yah, me and outside just don't really mix. but I did, Kell and Lin came up to get me, and well we went outside, in the cold, took some pictures (I'll post some eventually) and just had some good fun, that we haven't had in a while. I than decided I had to do some work, I did do some work, but than the AMA's came on, and I got distracted, so I didn't do nearly as much as I should of this weekend.


But atleast I'm alive, BTW, the full impact of the crash was on my side of the vehicule, I wasn't hit, neither was my door, but the passenger side of the front of the bumper and the frame was on my side. Mom thinks that is why I'm in pain and she isn't.

New guilty pleasure

So I've come across something that is not quite tetris, but still kind of like it. Did i ever tell you I love tetris, give me a tetris game on a road trip and I'll be queit for hours. It's rather amazing. so it is called pile up. It's @ yahoo games and it keeps you going for hours. You might need to register at uahoo to be able to play but it's worth it, and it's for free. YAY!! I love that word free!

Flu shot

What is the significance of the flu shot? I mean really you are giving me a needle (ouch) and infecting me with the flu virus so, I won't be sensitive to it. Well I'll say this In the past three to four years I have not gotten the flu!! The flu has been absent from my body for quite some time. I do not want to go get infected with this flu virus! But since I am a nursing student and we have to make sure we are immune to these horrible diseases, I have to go get my shot. Watch I'm going to get sick because of this. My day off school on thursday will be ruined because I will be sick, because of this stupid shot. Oh you will so hear about it, if I get sick. I will be complaining like no other! yeah, so I get my shot tommorow, at like ten. Let's hope nothing happens to me!

MacBeth...what a number

I saw MacBeth over the weekend, on Friday night. I've got to say it was much better than I thought it was going to be. The play was good, but the most exciting part of the night was afterwards. Yes, I know that sounds very weird, but it's true. I got to see people I haven't seen since I graduated (which was only 5 months ago, but still) I saw Mr. Smith that was cool. Talked a little bit to him, I also talked to Mrs. Yerxa, she asked me how I was doing, it was kind of weird. I than drove Lindsay home and we talked for a bit...It was kind of sad we weren't a year older or we would have gone to sessions for a cup of hot chocolate or something, but it was after ten and they start checking for ID at that time.

It made me realize how different I was. How much I have changed since my last year of High School. Now don't get me wrong, it's not a bad change. If anything it's a really good change. I'm growing up...I have my liscense, (which was a journey all on it's own) I'm responsible for my own education. This is very new, even though I still have parents on my back to get things done, but I can deal with that. Before I know it, I'll be done my nursing course, and be working, and making a living on my own...wouldn't it be nice to have someone by my side to come with me. Well a girl can dream can't she! I'll just keep on dreaming.


Keep the dreams alive, you never know where they might take you.

I gave BLOOD!!

I can't believe it...I did it...I gave blood. ME, the little wimpette. I sucked it up and went for it. Of course I was a little nervous. OK so I wa a lot nervous, I've never done it before. I didn't even know what my blood type is. I still don't know. So it was rather funny, I sign up, they prick my finger(which isn't bad cause I've done it for testing my sugars), then I answer questions. I than get sent into a little private place, which is really a sectioned off place with cardboard, to answer more questions. She asked me questions like " Have you had sex..." 12 out of the 13 questions were have you had sex with...whoever. Of course everytime the word sex came up, I didn't even let her finish the question. It was simply No, No, and no. That was fun.

Now comes the fun part, the needle sticking...I laughed and giggled, because well I was nervous, and the nurses joked, with me. Than once they ask what degree you are in...I had to tell them I was a nursing student. And they were like, well you shouldn't be scared. WELL, HA! I was! But I did that a big girl, I gave blood. I didn't even get dizzy. Well a little when I was transfered from one bed to another. But I was ok don't worry.

I got to say though it was a very cool experience. Especially being a nursing student. I got to see, how the nurses acted, what they did, and than I would think "I'll be like that someday" It's a very cool and very scary thought.

PS: Check out my friend Lindsays story about giving blood you'll really love it.

GRRR!!!

OK twice I say, Twice...I wrote all about election day and what I thought about it, and than it erasers it on me, I spent a good half hour writing this thing, sounding witty( you guys who know me, know this is a rarity) so I am MAD!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Mad I tell you...and when a person on little to no sleep gets mad...she cries...*sniff* yeah, I know I'm no good at staying mad for long.


PS: Check out Lindsay's blog...it's really cool, and today's blog will without a doubt make your brain hurt. After reading her blog your going to need a lot of REM sleep (psychology terms *giggle* I knew they were good for something)

Yeah so this is my third time to try to post hopefully it will work *crosses fingers* Here I go!

Games...Games...Games

Why is it everytime I come online, I want to play games Whether it be favorites like collapse, Topsy Turvy, or Diamond Mine OR Classics like Connect 4 and tetris so those are the games I play, I'll find some more or you could go to to this link.

GAMES